last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
