my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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