Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
