i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
