I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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