i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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