yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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