What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
honey bunches of taint.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
