Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
