Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
