PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
sarcasm needs its own font
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
