Don't you send me to vm
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
