Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
