it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
