She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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