You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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