You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
