if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize