My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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