i think my tv is drunk
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
