My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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