Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sorry my hands just texted you
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
