I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
