The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
