Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just want nice things and good sex
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
