I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
