i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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