Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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