2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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