Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
