I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
