Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
