On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
