I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
