She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Non-Jews are for practice
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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