my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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