Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
