Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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