im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
