with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize