We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
