this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
