So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
