Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
