The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize