i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
