I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
