my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
As shirtless as possible
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize