Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
