I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
