I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
