Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
