i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
