For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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