do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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