definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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