just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize