Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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